The Long and Winding Road Part II
As we were cautiously coming out of our cancer experiences, the road was already feeling long and winding. To our dismay, the road even got longer. The company we were working for was good to us as we worked our way through the whole experience. My wife Faith (who had been there for now 25 years) returned to work on a part-time basis as much as she could. In twenty-five years, you develop a lot of relationships; relationships with your co-workers, your bosses and your clients. Cancer not only changes you; it changes them too.
Some of those changes, probably most, are good. Many of them, more than you would think, are not. There will be people who come out of the woodwork that you would have never thought who bring you gifts and items of inspirations, collect money, bring food or mow your lawn. Then there are those who you thought were your friends who disappear; runaway; never talk to you again. In January of 2018, the night she received her diagnosis, was the last text message she ever received from one long-term friend. Another didn’t take her calls. When her boss got upset with her on her fourth day back at work, his wife came up to her after that and told her to not worry about it- “he had a lot on his mind.”
Things continued to get worse-for both of us. While she was in tears, her long-time co-manager approached her and told her that he knew she was getting screwed, but there was nothing he could do about it. It was very clear-we had to take things back into our own hands; and we did. We gave our notice and left for good. We knew it was our time to go. Some lawyers told us that we had a case if we chose to sue, but we didn’t want to go down that road. What we wanted was to move on and put all of that behind us. We wanted to move forwards, not backwards.
Once again, we thought we knew our direction, but we were given another detour. The very week we left our jobs my 94-year-old mother fell and broke her pelvis. We were her primary caretakers and again our priorities were very clear. For the next six months she worked hard and went through her physical therapy with good results. Just as she seemed to be getting things together again, she was given a tragic diagnosis; Acute Myopic Leukemia. She was given about six to eight weeks to live; she lasted just over six weeks.
We spent the next year clearing out her estate and selling her house. At the same time, we were looking for jobs and also putting a business plan together since we wanted to start our own business. With the pandemic going on and the political situation of the country, it wasn’t an easy time to be starting a business. We were juggling a lot of different balls in the air including the book, but publishing the book was having its own set of issues.
The learning curve for publishing the book seemed to be growing, not shrinking. I wasn’t clear on the timing for certain aspects nor the necessary resources I was going to need to finish what needed to be done. The launch date continued to get pushed back; again, and again. Finally, the book went live just before Christmas 2021 (and the story turning five years old).
It wasn’t how I wanted to launch the book, but I needed it to be done so I could have some peace of mind that I completed it. Plus, I did it mostly just to get it out there. I know professionally that it should have been done differently, but emotionally I needed to make it happen. I don’t really think it will matter because this book has a life of its own and if it’s going to succeed it can do it despite me.
Besides, what does success really mean? In my case, it was a success just to write it and complete the task. I never had a plan or goal to write the book in the first place. But now that the book is written and released, and the road is still going, I have come to realize a bigger lesson; reaching a destination is only a temporary success, staying on the journey to continue to learn and grow is the real success; and that should never stop.
